Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
