My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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