We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
