OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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