Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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