I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
ttyl tear gas
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
