just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
