Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
