Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
