I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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