Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I need to calm my uterus...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
