I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
