she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
