You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
where am i from again
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
