Grow some girl-balls and come out already
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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