my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
