The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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