you guys were way drunker than both of me
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
