bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
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