I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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