Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The struggles of a small town man whore
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize