You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Randomize
