I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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