This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
