And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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