I think i peed on brittanys purse
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
