so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize