if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
