your room smells of hookers.
And success
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
how drunk are you?
Several
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
