Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
