i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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