I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
