OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
