how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
