why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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