Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
