either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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