): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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