the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
