I murdered the dance floor call the cops
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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