your thong is hanging out like whoa
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
