His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
