you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
