I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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