That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
