Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
