Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
