like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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