We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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