the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
