I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
