No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
