i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
