you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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