Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
her vagine was all disorganized.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
