Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
