the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
