rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
