I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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