Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize