Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
