WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
