Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
