You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
