I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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