Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
