you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
