reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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