It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
